1987, Kaohsiung
War of the lotus - by Ma Tai-i
Having recently moved to Kaohsiung, into what was known among foreigners as the MTV building overlooking the park, I became increasingly curious about the various events in both locations.
I took a short cut through the indoor stadium which was unusually elaborately decorated, like the inside of a temple. All the gods were there. Buddha, Ma Dzu Shou Xing (寿星 , Baosheng Dadi (保生大帝) and a wholly host of frightful looking demons with big eyes and beards. It didn't occur to me that with long brown hair, a full face beard, in fact the only beard besides the idols, I might have fit right in.
The seating faced a stage like a performance center. The crowd was mostly older people, agrarian type, not the usual city rabble, and people with far too many tattoos. I walked up the aisle and asked one who looked reasonably educated hoping that he spoke English. “ Excuse me sir, what religion is this activity?”
All eyes were upon us. What's this foreigner doing at this activity? He looks like Jesus.
He stammered in English,” Confucius.”
2 seats away another man countered,” Buddha”
And another, interjected with all too familiar vulgar expressions, “$@#%@#@ Madzu!”
Others rose up and offered less than polite corrections.
I was reminded of a barroom arguing about the football teams and I got the hell out of there as the noise levels rose too high.
Friday, April 15, 2011
Tuesday, April 12, 2011
Good Neighbors 2003 Taitung
Good Neighbors 2003 Taitung
Living in the Carp Mountain village in Taitung was almost idyllic. The entire neighborhood was occupied by people who owned their home. So, everybody was committed to long term relationships. Nobody openly defied the 'residential neighborhood ' designation by running a small factory in their house. The residents were all educated, government employees, public school teachers or owned their own business. Except for the gossip mongers, there was only one drawback. On the corner across from my house w as a unkempt house with newspaper taped to the windows. The residents were unemployed, gathered recyclables for sustenance. From the house early in the morning a rooster crowed. Late at night was the sound of Majong tiles rattling, breaking glass, fighting, swearing, screaming. And “ Peiwon, you stupid thing. You will ever amount to anything! Ah Ching, discipline your child or I'll do it for you.” followed by a sharp WHACK and a small creature wailing.
Two doors down from there was a companion house of pretty much the same description but without so much violence. This was the home of a large tattooed fellow whom I came to know, as “Huh-ma”, Hippopotamus.
The house in between them belong to my dear friend Michael Yi, his wife Rose and their lively inventive son, Kyle. Rose had been a school teacher, her father a school principal. She had kindly referred many students to our small house school. Michael and I were always sharing tools and parts for DIY projects.
Ah Ching lived with his mother, his daughter, and his sister who soon moved out, and his brother who was worn out and burned out from drugs and drug rehabilitation. Ah Ching's wife had left him a few weeks after Peiwon was born.
Ah Ching and Huh-ma were good friends from school years and continued in the mischievous pattern that had developed then. When I asked the neighbors about these social misfits, I was told lurid tales of drug addiction, alcohol, crime and gangs.
It was the hardest thing for me to sleep at night with the noise. It was even harder to hear them hit the little girl. Between the Majong all night and the rooster at 5 am, I was losing sleep. And, I feared that it would affect my own children.
I went to the neighbors, one by one and asked what could be done. They all gave me the standard Taiwan answer that we hear all to often,” Mayo Ban-fa!” Nothing can be done. Impossible!
I had a good mind to go over and tell them to shut the hell up. I wanted to tell them that they were going to raise that girl to be a hell child, that they would do well to sell their house(s) and move to a neighborhood more conducive to their lifestyle.
I prayed.
On my roof one night, amidst the night noise, I had a chat with God. “ Look, if there is anything that I can do to help remedy this situation to help them to raise their child better, to stop drinking, to get work, to be more considerate, by all means let me know and I will do it.
I started walking on their side of the street,” Ni how!” Hello. Good morning. Good afternoon. I looked for a chance to bum a smoke, to borrow hand tools. And gradually I built a simple greeting relationship.
I sat around their house and had a beer. I taught Peiwon how to write, how to ride a bicycle, how to find programs other than horror films and bad Chinese romance on TV; Telli tubbies, Captain Planet, National Geographic and such. I know that it piqued the Granny that I was changing her favorite program but she quickly got with the program.
“Hey, Peiwon, my TV is broken and it's time for my favorite program can I watch your TV?” As I took the remote from Granny and switched to Cartoon Network or Disney.
Peiwon would take a small tea cup from the Chinese tea set on the table and pour a cup for me which triggered Granny to bark, “ Peiwon! I told you don't touch that!” and here came the whack.
And just before it did, I said, “ Well, thank you Peiwon, You are the perfect little hostess. You are so polite.“ as I pulled her out of harms way.
I knew that I was really overstepping the boundaries of propriety here. But if I was gonna make the change, it would require desperate and novel tactics. I knew that as a Taiwanese I would never get away with this. My foreigner status gave me carte blanche.
My big break came when I had to install an a/c unit in one of the classrooms. It wasn't really too heavy for me. But sometimes there is more to be gained in feigning inferiority than in asserting superiority. I trudged over to Huh-ma's house, dirty and sweaty .” Can you help me move my a/c unit?
“ Sure. “ Huh-ma was a mountain of a man. And he looked fierce with all those tattoos. But he was gentle as a kitten.
I could see an expression of fear creep over Kat's face as I led the sweaty big fella up the stairs to the second floor. I could read the thoughts in her head, 'Is he gonna case the house so he can rob us when we are not home? Why are you bringing this lug into our house?'
I can't imagine what the other neighbors thought when they saw me going about with these guys. It was an important step in building. Just how much building we would later find out.
I tried to explain to Granny that she needed to be more encouraging and rewarding to Peiwon rather than constantly punishing and criticizing. Try to find something to reward her for every day. Anything. I used a little balance scale for a model. One one side put I rewards. On the other side I put punishments. At the end of the day, which way will the scale tip? I explained to her how the child will become what Granny says that she is. So, if Granny says that he is stupid, she is likely to become stupid. If Granny says that she is smart, then Peiwon would become smart.
It took some time, but after a couple of months of modeling and gentle leading, Granny changed her tone of voice when speaking to Peiwon. She whacked her less often. Some of my fondest memories of life in that neighbor hood were there in Ah Ching and Peiwon's house.
After a time, quite naturally, Ah Ching and his next door neighbor Michael began to chat, share tools and stories.
The time came for us to buy a house. It was a mess. It was across the street from Ah Ching. It had not been cleaned in decades. It needed a complete remodeling inside and out and had to be done on a budget.
I had to do it myself and I had to find a work crew. I asked Ah Ching and Huh-ma to work with me one day , just to try them out. They did a good days work. Ah Ching had experience in every aspect of construction. He had all kinds of tricks up his sleeve. Huh-ma was a good muscle man. So, Ah Ching handled the more delicate tasks, laying cable, mixing and setting cement, while Huh-ma worked along side him to do the more laborious tasks, carry the bags upstairs, pull the cable through the conduit. We worked together for a good 4 months, peeling the tile from the inside and outside of the house, knocking out the bathrooms completely and rebuilding them at new locations, tearing out walls, cutting holes for bigger windows. It was very satisfying work. Peiwon, now 6 years old, would bring tea, cigarettes, betel-nut and Whis-bih for her father, her boney little legs and shorts that hung too loose, slippers that couldn't stay on her feet, round face and big ears, she was a little work site imp.
The job site was always alight with music, laughter and joy. At times I wished it would never end. But it did. The screaming and fighting diminished . The drinking tapered off. The rooster never stopped crowing . The sound of the Majong tiles never fully ceased. But it was whole lot easier to live with. And when each of us looked across the street we could say, look what I helped build.
Living in the Carp Mountain village in Taitung was almost idyllic. The entire neighborhood was occupied by people who owned their home. So, everybody was committed to long term relationships. Nobody openly defied the 'residential neighborhood ' designation by running a small factory in their house. The residents were all educated, government employees, public school teachers or owned their own business. Except for the gossip mongers, there was only one drawback. On the corner across from my house w as a unkempt house with newspaper taped to the windows. The residents were unemployed, gathered recyclables for sustenance. From the house early in the morning a rooster crowed. Late at night was the sound of Majong tiles rattling, breaking glass, fighting, swearing, screaming. And “ Peiwon, you stupid thing. You will ever amount to anything! Ah Ching, discipline your child or I'll do it for you.” followed by a sharp WHACK and a small creature wailing.
Two doors down from there was a companion house of pretty much the same description but without so much violence. This was the home of a large tattooed fellow whom I came to know, as “Huh-ma”, Hippopotamus.
The house in between them belong to my dear friend Michael Yi, his wife Rose and their lively inventive son, Kyle. Rose had been a school teacher, her father a school principal. She had kindly referred many students to our small house school. Michael and I were always sharing tools and parts for DIY projects.
Ah Ching lived with his mother, his daughter, and his sister who soon moved out, and his brother who was worn out and burned out from drugs and drug rehabilitation. Ah Ching's wife had left him a few weeks after Peiwon was born.
Ah Ching and Huh-ma were good friends from school years and continued in the mischievous pattern that had developed then. When I asked the neighbors about these social misfits, I was told lurid tales of drug addiction, alcohol, crime and gangs.
It was the hardest thing for me to sleep at night with the noise. It was even harder to hear them hit the little girl. Between the Majong all night and the rooster at 5 am, I was losing sleep. And, I feared that it would affect my own children.
I went to the neighbors, one by one and asked what could be done. They all gave me the standard Taiwan answer that we hear all to often,” Mayo Ban-fa!” Nothing can be done. Impossible!
I had a good mind to go over and tell them to shut the hell up. I wanted to tell them that they were going to raise that girl to be a hell child, that they would do well to sell their house(s) and move to a neighborhood more conducive to their lifestyle.
I prayed.
On my roof one night, amidst the night noise, I had a chat with God. “ Look, if there is anything that I can do to help remedy this situation to help them to raise their child better, to stop drinking, to get work, to be more considerate, by all means let me know and I will do it.
I started walking on their side of the street,” Ni how!” Hello. Good morning. Good afternoon. I looked for a chance to bum a smoke, to borrow hand tools. And gradually I built a simple greeting relationship.
I sat around their house and had a beer. I taught Peiwon how to write, how to ride a bicycle, how to find programs other than horror films and bad Chinese romance on TV; Telli tubbies, Captain Planet, National Geographic and such. I know that it piqued the Granny that I was changing her favorite program but she quickly got with the program.
“Hey, Peiwon, my TV is broken and it's time for my favorite program can I watch your TV?” As I took the remote from Granny and switched to Cartoon Network or Disney.
Peiwon would take a small tea cup from the Chinese tea set on the table and pour a cup for me which triggered Granny to bark, “ Peiwon! I told you don't touch that!” and here came the whack.
And just before it did, I said, “ Well, thank you Peiwon, You are the perfect little hostess. You are so polite.“ as I pulled her out of harms way.
I knew that I was really overstepping the boundaries of propriety here. But if I was gonna make the change, it would require desperate and novel tactics. I knew that as a Taiwanese I would never get away with this. My foreigner status gave me carte blanche.
My big break came when I had to install an a/c unit in one of the classrooms. It wasn't really too heavy for me. But sometimes there is more to be gained in feigning inferiority than in asserting superiority. I trudged over to Huh-ma's house, dirty and sweaty .” Can you help me move my a/c unit?
“ Sure. “ Huh-ma was a mountain of a man. And he looked fierce with all those tattoos. But he was gentle as a kitten.
I could see an expression of fear creep over Kat's face as I led the sweaty big fella up the stairs to the second floor. I could read the thoughts in her head, 'Is he gonna case the house so he can rob us when we are not home? Why are you bringing this lug into our house?'
I can't imagine what the other neighbors thought when they saw me going about with these guys. It was an important step in building. Just how much building we would later find out.
I tried to explain to Granny that she needed to be more encouraging and rewarding to Peiwon rather than constantly punishing and criticizing. Try to find something to reward her for every day. Anything. I used a little balance scale for a model. One one side put I rewards. On the other side I put punishments. At the end of the day, which way will the scale tip? I explained to her how the child will become what Granny says that she is. So, if Granny says that he is stupid, she is likely to become stupid. If Granny says that she is smart, then Peiwon would become smart.
It took some time, but after a couple of months of modeling and gentle leading, Granny changed her tone of voice when speaking to Peiwon. She whacked her less often. Some of my fondest memories of life in that neighbor hood were there in Ah Ching and Peiwon's house.
After a time, quite naturally, Ah Ching and his next door neighbor Michael began to chat, share tools and stories.
The time came for us to buy a house. It was a mess. It was across the street from Ah Ching. It had not been cleaned in decades. It needed a complete remodeling inside and out and had to be done on a budget.
I had to do it myself and I had to find a work crew. I asked Ah Ching and Huh-ma to work with me one day , just to try them out. They did a good days work. Ah Ching had experience in every aspect of construction. He had all kinds of tricks up his sleeve. Huh-ma was a good muscle man. So, Ah Ching handled the more delicate tasks, laying cable, mixing and setting cement, while Huh-ma worked along side him to do the more laborious tasks, carry the bags upstairs, pull the cable through the conduit. We worked together for a good 4 months, peeling the tile from the inside and outside of the house, knocking out the bathrooms completely and rebuilding them at new locations, tearing out walls, cutting holes for bigger windows. It was very satisfying work. Peiwon, now 6 years old, would bring tea, cigarettes, betel-nut and Whis-bih for her father, her boney little legs and shorts that hung too loose, slippers that couldn't stay on her feet, round face and big ears, she was a little work site imp.
The job site was always alight with music, laughter and joy. At times I wished it would never end. But it did. The screaming and fighting diminished . The drinking tapered off. The rooster never stopped crowing . The sound of the Majong tiles never fully ceased. But it was whole lot easier to live with. And when each of us looked across the street we could say, look what I helped build.
Friday, April 8, 2011
Out Patients' Tainan, 2011
Having to service my broken ankle, I went to the Chen Gong University Medical Center for treatment. It was a fairly busy day in the outpatient department. My wife left me in the waiting room to go get some documents. In the center of a long corridor chairs were arranged in columns and row to face 8 doors which opened to 8 examination rooms along the left wall. A large window at the far end provided ample sunlight.
Being the only foreigner in the room, most of the 150 people tracked me as I wheeled my chair across the room to the window to get some vitamin D.
As my number was soon to come up, I rolled back to the main door, and took up a place tucked in a corner, out of the path of direct traffic but close enough to my doctors door. Absorbed in my book, I looked up in time to see the only other wheel chair enter the room, a olive skinned, curly haired man in his early 30's. He looked Mediterranean or Middle eastern.
“ Hello”, I greeted him.
Seeing another Mediterranean/middle eastern face, he lit up,” Hello” he approached. “I'm Mohammed from Iran.”
“I'm Malcolm from New York,” and to put him at ease I smiled with an outstretched hand,”A pleasure to meet you.”
“What happened to your leg?” he asked.
“Paragliding accident,” and noticing his back brace, “And you ?”
“Spinal injury. Herniated disk.”
“So sorry. Sorry also about the trouble between our home countries.”
“I hate politicians!” he added emphatically, spitting out the words like chewed betelnut. “If they would get the hell out of the way we could all make a world of peace for ourselves.”
“So true. Spend the same amount of money on peace initiative that we spend on war, and we could have peace.”
“You are Muslim?”
“Yes, You are Christian?”
" Yes."
“Good! We give politicians, how you Americans say, the Bird,” and with outstretched arms, and a warm smile, we reached across our wheel chairs and clumsily embraced.
“I pray for healing in your nation and in your spine. Amen”
“I pray for your country to know peace and for you to fly again very soon. Allah Akbar..”
“Shalom Alechem.”
“Wa Alaykum Salam.”
When my wife returned, she found me in a most unusual position, hands clasped, and embracing another man who bore a striking resemblance to me.
“You 2 look like long lost brothers.”
“ Hahaha, yeah, Jacob and Esau!” I quipped.
“ Hahaha. Hey, you got facebook?”he asked.
Being the only foreigner in the room, most of the 150 people tracked me as I wheeled my chair across the room to the window to get some vitamin D.
As my number was soon to come up, I rolled back to the main door, and took up a place tucked in a corner, out of the path of direct traffic but close enough to my doctors door. Absorbed in my book, I looked up in time to see the only other wheel chair enter the room, a olive skinned, curly haired man in his early 30's. He looked Mediterranean or Middle eastern.
“ Hello”, I greeted him.
Seeing another Mediterranean/middle eastern face, he lit up,” Hello” he approached. “I'm Mohammed from Iran.”
“I'm Malcolm from New York,” and to put him at ease I smiled with an outstretched hand,”A pleasure to meet you.”
“What happened to your leg?” he asked.
“Paragliding accident,” and noticing his back brace, “And you ?”
“Spinal injury. Herniated disk.”
“So sorry. Sorry also about the trouble between our home countries.”
“I hate politicians!” he added emphatically, spitting out the words like chewed betelnut. “If they would get the hell out of the way we could all make a world of peace for ourselves.”
“So true. Spend the same amount of money on peace initiative that we spend on war, and we could have peace.”
“You are Muslim?”
“Yes, You are Christian?”
" Yes."
“Good! We give politicians, how you Americans say, the Bird,” and with outstretched arms, and a warm smile, we reached across our wheel chairs and clumsily embraced.
“I pray for healing in your nation and in your spine. Amen”
“I pray for your country to know peace and for you to fly again very soon. Allah Akbar..”
“Shalom Alechem.”
“Wa Alaykum Salam.”
When my wife returned, she found me in a most unusual position, hands clasped, and embracing another man who bore a striking resemblance to me.
“You 2 look like long lost brothers.”
“ Hahaha, yeah, Jacob and Esau!” I quipped.
“ Hahaha. Hey, you got facebook?”he asked.
Wednesday, April 6, 2011
Road Trippin' Taitung County, 2001
Come on Pauli, I've been on a road trip with all my Taitung buddies except you.
Paul just laughed, and replies,” Maybe. One day.”
This was the 77th time I urged him into this. “OK. This weekend I have to visit the electronics store. Let's go.”
Paul was very duty bound and responsible. His outward conservative behavior and expressions belied a deep and broad creativity. But it was his duty to mind the house and yard, his disabled father, his aging mother and his son.
We left the next afternoon in my red CMC minivan. I swear by these vehicles. I have had at least 8 of them in my life in Taiwan. They are good on gas, easy to repair, parts are cheap, everything is accessible. They have a sharp turning radius and it is 60 cm longer than other vans in it's class. They are big on the inside, small on the outside. It can carry a motorcycle and yet park in a space only 6 cm longer than itself. It sleeps 2 average adults, snugly. Two average adults sleeping in a van, I guess “snuggle-y” is what they would want. Alas, the little red minivan is another story.
Once in Kaohsiung, Paul and I completed our respective tasks. The minivan laden with goodies, parts, tools, toys and a lot of American junk food from Costco we headed back as the sunset.
“Did I ever tell you about the time,...”
“Is this gonna be a long story?”
“It's gonna be a long drive.” I parried. “I was sitting at home with the missus and started feeling antsy, like I had to go for a drive. I had been fasting and praying and felt like there was something unusual to this. So, I got in the car and headed for Kaohsiung, at around 11 pm. The mountains of Da Ren and Xr Dze Xiang were shrouded in cloud. I came upon a small car on the side of the road. I saw a man struggling with a flat tire. I swung my car around so the light was in his face and scared the shit out of him. So, to set him at ease, I promptly spoke English with him. I changed the tire for him and was about to leave when his wife in the back seat of the car called me over. 'Grandma says that you are like an angel. She has been praying in tongues that God would send someone to help us. And you are.'
“'Are you Christian', I asked. Turns out they go to the same church as my friends Dave and Weifun in Kaohsiung.”
“Very interesting. I hope we don't have that kind of adventure on the road.”
By the time we got to Xr Dze Xiang, Nei men, night had fallen. A mist cloaked the slopes from 350 meters and up. As we came around one of the countless blind bends we saw a 28 wheel crane truck had run into the cliff on the right side. “ Paul, roll down your window an see if this guy needs help.”
“Nah, he's OK. He has a cel phone. I'm sure”
I stopped the car. “Hey, do you need help?”
“ Jio ming, ahhh!” Save my Life! I kinda expected that. “The radiator pinned my legs. I can't get out. “
Paul jumped out of the car before it came to a full halt, saying,“ I will take this water. He can pour on his legs to cool. OK?”
“ Of course,” I replied.
I parked the van 30 meters down the road. I could hear Paul instructing the victim in a calm voice. I sprinted back up the hill to where Paul had flagged down a passing big blue truck. I heard him using his passive authoritarian “Yoda” voice, to convince the driver to let us use his tow rope, chain and truck to pull the front window post and the radiator off of the trapped driver.
Paul sprung like a acrobat from truck to truck, giving instructions, attaching the tow. A policeman had arrive and wanted to know what was going on. “ Did these men cause the accident he asked the victim driver.
“No, they kindly stopped to help. Please get me out of here!”
Paul informed him that he could be helpful by directing traffic, which he did.
In minutes we heard the creaking of steel on steel and the driver was extricated, none the worse for fear.
While the policeman had his back turned, we slipped away from the scene, back to our van and disappeared into the night like Batman and Boy Wonder-WTF-is-going-on.
“Well, wasn't THAT an adventure? “ I teased Paul. “You like that, don't you?”
Paul is grinning with all the feeling of satisfaction of a good hard days work and saving someones life,”No more adventure.”
“You really sprung into action like you know what you're doing”
He offered,“I had some experience on the tunneling and construction job sites as a civil engineer.”
“Yes, but the way everybody listens to you. You're like the Jedi Knight.”
People in authority use authority voice. Workers listen.”
“Oh.” I had learned some of what would become know as the classic Paul wisdom. I'll let that sink in and see how to use it in the the ESL classroom.
The police lights flashed in and out of view to the rear, with each turn we took on the torturous road home. “No more adventure, “ Paul remarked.” Let's just go home. “
And, none too soon. As we came up the coastal highway past Da Xi, we saw headlights a little too far off the side of the opposite side of the road, askew from the horizontal.
“No more adventure” Paul repeated what had become a mantra, though his laugh belied his words.
“Looks like they drove into the storm drain.“
“They can call a tow truck.”
“Can we do this?”
“Sure?“ I couldn't tell if Paul was asking or assuring.
The driver seemed a little drunk. He was with 2 other men. They were driving home from a wedding.
Paul went immediately into “Jedi” mode. He had everybody out of the car, lifting the fender while I drove the car backwards. The one rear wheel which had been cantilevered up, touched the ground just enough to jolt the car out of the ditch.
Paul left them with a stern warning,”Huh jyo, bu kai che.” - Drink wine, don't drive car!
Laughing, I emphasized with a drunken slur, “Huh che bu kai jyo!” Drink car, don't drive wine!”
We had left Kaohsiung at sunset and it appeared we wouldn't get home til after midnight. “ Yeah, 2 hour drive, you said,“ Paul chided me. “Next time you can road trip alone, hahahhaa “
“ OK. No more stops. No more.”
The coastal highway is up on pillars just south of Taimali, 2 lanes wide with a very narrow shoulder. So what were these 2 lovers doing at midnight, car parked on the side?
“Oh, no not another,” Paul smiled, chanting, “No more adventures.”
I was well aware of the local peoples fear when another vehicle pulls up at midnight. So, I used my best American accent to greet them in English and hopefully it will put them at ease. “ Good morning. Are you OK? Do you need help?” I asked.
“ Engine is overheating,” replied the woman.
“ Well, I can leave you a couple of bottles of water,” I offered.
“Thank you.”
“ Let me have a look,” said Paul.
“You busted a fan belt. It is wrapped around the fan. Paul stood on the side and gazed at the sea, his long auburn hair blowing offshore, wizard-like.
“How about we take you to Taimali, and they can get you a tow,” I asked.
“ Good idea,” Paul said.
“ How much? The man asked.
Paul laughed,” You are our third rescue tonight. No charge.”
It was 1:30 when we arrived in Taimali. And we were remarkably fortunate to find my friend Ah Kuhn awake and playing with his cars in his 4WD shop.
“ Ma Tai -i. What are you doing out so late at night?” He introduced me to his coworker,” Ma Tai-i is a paragliding instructor. He flies here on Jin Dzen San.”
“This is my partner, Paul. And these nice folks' car broke down up the road. I think they need a belt. You might want to tow them back and repair it.“ The driver gave him the keys and a description of the car.
“ Hey, Paul what do you say we head home.”
“ We should stay and make sure that they are alright.”
“ It's 3 a.m.”
“Duty. You assume it, you follow it through.”
Such is the wisdom of Paul.
Paul just laughed, and replies,” Maybe. One day.”
This was the 77th time I urged him into this. “OK. This weekend I have to visit the electronics store. Let's go.”
Paul was very duty bound and responsible. His outward conservative behavior and expressions belied a deep and broad creativity. But it was his duty to mind the house and yard, his disabled father, his aging mother and his son.
We left the next afternoon in my red CMC minivan. I swear by these vehicles. I have had at least 8 of them in my life in Taiwan. They are good on gas, easy to repair, parts are cheap, everything is accessible. They have a sharp turning radius and it is 60 cm longer than other vans in it's class. They are big on the inside, small on the outside. It can carry a motorcycle and yet park in a space only 6 cm longer than itself. It sleeps 2 average adults, snugly. Two average adults sleeping in a van, I guess “snuggle-y” is what they would want. Alas, the little red minivan is another story.
Once in Kaohsiung, Paul and I completed our respective tasks. The minivan laden with goodies, parts, tools, toys and a lot of American junk food from Costco we headed back as the sunset.
“Did I ever tell you about the time,...”
“Is this gonna be a long story?”
“It's gonna be a long drive.” I parried. “I was sitting at home with the missus and started feeling antsy, like I had to go for a drive. I had been fasting and praying and felt like there was something unusual to this. So, I got in the car and headed for Kaohsiung, at around 11 pm. The mountains of Da Ren and Xr Dze Xiang were shrouded in cloud. I came upon a small car on the side of the road. I saw a man struggling with a flat tire. I swung my car around so the light was in his face and scared the shit out of him. So, to set him at ease, I promptly spoke English with him. I changed the tire for him and was about to leave when his wife in the back seat of the car called me over. 'Grandma says that you are like an angel. She has been praying in tongues that God would send someone to help us. And you are.'
“'Are you Christian', I asked. Turns out they go to the same church as my friends Dave and Weifun in Kaohsiung.”
“Very interesting. I hope we don't have that kind of adventure on the road.”
By the time we got to Xr Dze Xiang, Nei men, night had fallen. A mist cloaked the slopes from 350 meters and up. As we came around one of the countless blind bends we saw a 28 wheel crane truck had run into the cliff on the right side. “ Paul, roll down your window an see if this guy needs help.”
“Nah, he's OK. He has a cel phone. I'm sure”
I stopped the car. “Hey, do you need help?”
“ Jio ming, ahhh!” Save my Life! I kinda expected that. “The radiator pinned my legs. I can't get out. “
Paul jumped out of the car before it came to a full halt, saying,“ I will take this water. He can pour on his legs to cool. OK?”
“ Of course,” I replied.
I parked the van 30 meters down the road. I could hear Paul instructing the victim in a calm voice. I sprinted back up the hill to where Paul had flagged down a passing big blue truck. I heard him using his passive authoritarian “Yoda” voice, to convince the driver to let us use his tow rope, chain and truck to pull the front window post and the radiator off of the trapped driver.
Paul sprung like a acrobat from truck to truck, giving instructions, attaching the tow. A policeman had arrive and wanted to know what was going on. “ Did these men cause the accident he asked the victim driver.
“No, they kindly stopped to help. Please get me out of here!”
Paul informed him that he could be helpful by directing traffic, which he did.
In minutes we heard the creaking of steel on steel and the driver was extricated, none the worse for fear.
While the policeman had his back turned, we slipped away from the scene, back to our van and disappeared into the night like Batman and Boy Wonder-WTF-is-going-on.
“Well, wasn't THAT an adventure? “ I teased Paul. “You like that, don't you?”
Paul is grinning with all the feeling of satisfaction of a good hard days work and saving someones life,”No more adventure.”
“You really sprung into action like you know what you're doing”
He offered,“I had some experience on the tunneling and construction job sites as a civil engineer.”
“Yes, but the way everybody listens to you. You're like the Jedi Knight.”
People in authority use authority voice. Workers listen.”
“Oh.” I had learned some of what would become know as the classic Paul wisdom. I'll let that sink in and see how to use it in the the ESL classroom.
The police lights flashed in and out of view to the rear, with each turn we took on the torturous road home. “No more adventure, “ Paul remarked.” Let's just go home. “
And, none too soon. As we came up the coastal highway past Da Xi, we saw headlights a little too far off the side of the opposite side of the road, askew from the horizontal.
“No more adventure” Paul repeated what had become a mantra, though his laugh belied his words.
“Looks like they drove into the storm drain.“
“They can call a tow truck.”
“Can we do this?”
“Sure?“ I couldn't tell if Paul was asking or assuring.
The driver seemed a little drunk. He was with 2 other men. They were driving home from a wedding.
Paul went immediately into “Jedi” mode. He had everybody out of the car, lifting the fender while I drove the car backwards. The one rear wheel which had been cantilevered up, touched the ground just enough to jolt the car out of the ditch.
Paul left them with a stern warning,”Huh jyo, bu kai che.” - Drink wine, don't drive car!
Laughing, I emphasized with a drunken slur, “Huh che bu kai jyo!” Drink car, don't drive wine!”
We had left Kaohsiung at sunset and it appeared we wouldn't get home til after midnight. “ Yeah, 2 hour drive, you said,“ Paul chided me. “Next time you can road trip alone, hahahhaa “
“ OK. No more stops. No more.”
The coastal highway is up on pillars just south of Taimali, 2 lanes wide with a very narrow shoulder. So what were these 2 lovers doing at midnight, car parked on the side?
“Oh, no not another,” Paul smiled, chanting, “No more adventures.”
I was well aware of the local peoples fear when another vehicle pulls up at midnight. So, I used my best American accent to greet them in English and hopefully it will put them at ease. “ Good morning. Are you OK? Do you need help?” I asked.
“ Engine is overheating,” replied the woman.
“ Well, I can leave you a couple of bottles of water,” I offered.
“Thank you.”
“ Let me have a look,” said Paul.
“You busted a fan belt. It is wrapped around the fan. Paul stood on the side and gazed at the sea, his long auburn hair blowing offshore, wizard-like.
“How about we take you to Taimali, and they can get you a tow,” I asked.
“ Good idea,” Paul said.
“ How much? The man asked.
Paul laughed,” You are our third rescue tonight. No charge.”
It was 1:30 when we arrived in Taimali. And we were remarkably fortunate to find my friend Ah Kuhn awake and playing with his cars in his 4WD shop.
“ Ma Tai -i. What are you doing out so late at night?” He introduced me to his coworker,” Ma Tai-i is a paragliding instructor. He flies here on Jin Dzen San.”
“This is my partner, Paul. And these nice folks' car broke down up the road. I think they need a belt. You might want to tow them back and repair it.“ The driver gave him the keys and a description of the car.
“ Hey, Paul what do you say we head home.”
“ We should stay and make sure that they are alright.”
“ It's 3 a.m.”
“Duty. You assume it, you follow it through.”
Such is the wisdom of Paul.
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