Swei jyao 1987 Taipei

I walked into a dumpling shop in Taipei, not very attractive, nor very clean, with an Australian mate, Mark and his Ozzie girl friend, Suzie just after the lunch rush. We'd met at the the Perfect Language Institute where I did my 3- 4 lessons of Chinese. 

Mark was notorious for clang associations. How's your mother's knee? For Ni how ma? And that sort of thing. It's real funny coming from an Ozzie. This helped us all to remember words.
Chinese is a tonal language with 4 tones. And, if you get your tones wrong, it changes the meaning, sometimes dramatically. Mark could never get his tones right until dinner at the dumpling shop. 

Round tables, round stools, and a round roll of toilet tissue on each table.

“ I hope that isn't a commentary on the food,” I remarked, lifting a roll for all to see.

“Ominous,” replied Mark.

“Shall we go elsewhere?” Suzie offered.

“Nah, not unless they got the dinner napkins in the crapper. “answered Mark.

“What you want?” the shop keeper asked.

Eager to practice his Chinese, “Lemme get this, mate,” Mark insisted, lightly pulling me aside. He pulled out his notebook and read, “ Wo yao swei jjyao4” using the 4^th tone.

“ Ok, you go cross street, hotel you can sleep all you want,” laughed the proprietor.

“ Ah, no mate, “ with an eating gesture,” swei jyao4.”

“ Ah, swei jyao3” the owner patiently gestured as if drawing a check mark to indicate the 3^rd tone and then mimed eating dumplings. “Swei jyao4” as he gestured with the forth tone, pointing down, miming sleeping.

So, we ordered 50 swei jyao3, and 3 bottles of Taiwan beer. Slowly we savored the conversation, the food and shared war stories, in the classroom, on the streets, between the sheets. Mark popped off to the rest room as we sucked down the last of the delicious swei jyau3.

I paid the  bill with a hearty," Xie, Xie!!" - thank you- to which the owner replied, "You Chinese speak very good."

I  had already  learned the appropriate response to compliments was, " Na -li Na-li, "  which literally translates," Where? Where?" but  figuratively means, " Not really."

Mark returned from the bathroom with a boisterous laugh. “You gotta see this mate, he proffered a hand full of square napkins.” They got the dinner napkins in the crapper.”

Ominous.