Swei jyao 1987 Taipei

I walked into a dumpling shop in Taipei, not very attractive, nor very clean, with an Australian mate, Mark and his Ozzie girl friend, Suzie just after the lunch rush. We'd met at the the Perfect Language Institute where I did my 3- 4 lessons of Chinese. 

Mark was notorious for clang associations. How's your mother's knee? For Ni how ma? And that sort of thing. It's real funny coming from an Ozzie. This helped us all to remember words.
Chinese is a tonal language with 4 tones. And, if you get your tones wrong, it changes the meaning, sometimes dramatically. Mark could never get his tones right until dinner at the dumpling shop. 

Round tables, round stools, and a round roll of toilet tissue on each table.

“ I hope that isn't a commentary on the food,” I remarked, lifting a roll for all to see.

“Ominous,” replied Mark.

“Shall we go elsewhere?” Suzie offered.

“Nah, not unless they got the dinner napkins in the crapper. “answered Mark.

“What you want?” the shop keeper asked.

Eager to practice his Chinese, “Lemme get this, mate,” Mark insisted, lightly pulling me aside. He pulled out his notebook and read, “ Wo yao swei jjyao4” using the 4^th tone.

“ Ok, you go cross street, hotel you can sleep all you want,” laughed the proprietor.

“ Ah, no mate, “ with an eating gesture,” swei jyao4.”

“ Ah, swei jyao3” the owner patiently gestured as if drawing a check mark to indicate the 3^rd tone and then mimed eating dumplings. “Swei jyao4” as he gestured with the forth tone, pointing down, miming sleeping.

So, we ordered 50 swei jyao3, and 3 bottles of Taiwan beer. Slowly we savored the conversation, the food and shared war stories, in the classroom, on the streets, between the sheets. Mark popped off to the rest room as we sucked down the last of the delicious swei jyau3.

I paid the  bill with a hearty," Xie, Xie!!" - thank you- to which the owner replied, "You Chinese speak very good."

I  had already  learned the appropriate response to compliments was, " Na -li Na-li, "  which literally translates," Where? Where?" but  figuratively means, " Not really."

Mark returned from the bathroom with a boisterous laugh. “You gotta see this mate, he proffered a hand full of square napkins.” They got the dinner napkins in the crapper.”

Ominous.

Arrived Alive , December 20, 1986

December 20, 1986


Insisting to carry my favorite books, I arrived at CKS with far too much baggage। As instructed by my emissary Mr. No B.S., I pulled out the little scrap of paper he had given me with the names of his college classmates. I dialed a Mr. Lee. He answered the phone and said,” Welcome, welcome, um... you take bus to Taipei station. Call me from Brother hotel.”


I took the shuttle to the Brother Hotel, checked in and called him back.
“OK. We'll be right there.”

An hour later a light knocking at the door, and in came 3 young Taiwanese men.
“What, no babes?” I thought. You don't know Mr. No!

So, how is Mr Lu Bing Xiow?” they asked about their friend, as they all laughed as if asking had triggered memories of some secret event.
“Who,” I ask, forgetting for a moment his Chinese name. “Oh, No B.S. He's just fine. He said to send his regards.“

“He said that you speak Korean very well, you learned Korean very fast, at the stand bars.” We all had a good laugh at that.

“ What brings you to Taiwan?
“ I'm sort of on vacation.”
“ A lot of baggage.”
“Mostly books. It may be a long vacation.

We were waiting for one more friend. To fill the time, I got whimsical Chinese lessons. Jang pointed to the wall, “ How you call this in English?”
I struggled to ignore the grammar, “Wall.”
He pointed to his eye,” And this?”
“ Eye.”
He pointed to his knee, “And this?”
“Knee.”
“OK. Now put it together.”
“Wall, eye, knee.”
“ Good, but no “L” sound.”
“I tried it again, leaving off the “L” at the end of 'wall'.
“Good. That is what you say when you see a pretty girl.”
“OK, and what does it mean? “ I asked, eagerly.
“I love you.” they chimed together and roared.
They gave a few simple phrases which I could use at the restaurant.
“Ching, gay wo...?”Please give me...
“Hsieh, hsieh, “Thank you.
“Bu kuh chi.” You're welcome.

“Well how do I ask for food that is not too hot?”
“Bu yao tai la!”


We took a taxi to a small restaurant and ate slowly while consuming large quantities of Taiwan beer while I practiced my first lessons in Chinese. Every thing was less formal than in Pohang, Korea. Oh, we all had to lift our glasses together, and we had to toast one another, which I thought was endearing. But it was not necessary to use the other hand to hold the imaginary sleeve of the imaginary robe which nobody has worn in a hundred years. People seemed more relaxed and eager to share of themselves. There wasn't any of that, “We Korean people this...We Korean people that...”. There was a lot of, “I think...I like....”. They told me about the history, politics, currency and the most daunting news of all – I have no tech support for my Apple III computer and that I should switch over to pc and Microsoft.
“ Micro-what?” I asked.

We fought to see who will pay the bill. But, unlike Korea in 1986, nobody ended up on the floor. I think I'll like this place.
As we approached the counter Lee said, “No, Mr. Bacchus,” using the Korean corrupted version of my English surname, “ You are our guest.” Hmmm, another land of no “V” sound.

I went home gleefully drunk, comfortable with my new friends, in what may be the vacation of my life.

Two days later, I moved in with Jang and Lee to share their apartment on the 14th floor.


1986年, 12月20日

我帶著過多的行李抵達中正國際機場，只因我堅持帶著我最愛的書。就如我的所交代的，我拿出他給我的那張寫著他大學同學名字的小紙條。我打了通電話給李先生。他接了電話，並且說道＂歡迎、歡迎，嗯...你先搭公車到台北車站。到兄弟大飯店時，打給我＂

我搭上去兄弟大飯店的車子，辦好入住的手續後並打了通電話給他。＂好的，我們馬上到＂

一小時後，一陣房間門上的輕敲聲，來了三個年輕的台灣男生。＂啥，沒有美眉啊？＂我心情想著。你們一定不認識No先生。

＂請問路斌孝先生最近好嗎？＂當他們問起他們朋友的近況，他們似乎想起了過去一些他們之間的密秘而笑了出來。
＂誰＂我問道，突然忘了他的中文名。＂噢，不蓋你先生啊！他好得很，他還請我幫他向大家問好。

他說你們韓語說得很好，也學得很快，由其在酒吧裡。
我們聊這話題都聊到笑翻了。

＂你怎會想來台灣？＂
＂其實我在渡假。＂
＂行李很多唷＂
＂帶的大多是書，這假期可能很長＂我說道。

我們那時在等另一個朋友。中間空檔的節目是我上的一堂奇怪中文課，江兄指著牆說＂這東西英文裡怎麼說？＂

我爭扎著盡量不去理會文法，＂wall"。
他指著他的眼睛說，＂這個呢？＂
＂eye。＂
他指著他的膝蓋，＂這個呢？＂
＂knee＂
＂很好，不過要去掉L的音＂
＂我再試了一次，把wall的L尾音去掉＂
＂很好，這就是你看到漂亮女孩時該說的＂
＂嗯，這是啥意思？＂我迫不及待地問。
＂我愛妳＂他們一起大喊著。
他們順便教了幾具在餐廳可以用的短句。
＂Ching gay wo...". 請給我...
＂hsieh .hsieh." 謝謝。
＂Bu kuh chi" 不客氣。

＂那食物別太辣怎麼說呢？＂
＂Bu Yao tai la!"

我們搭了台計程車到了間小餐廳，我們吃得很慢，倒是喝很多台灣啤酒，在那時我也練習了我剛學習到的中文。所有的事物都比韓國浦項市來得較不拘謹。噢，我們必需一起拿起酒杯，一一地敬酒，這我倒是覺得不錯；但是不需顧及到一些過時舊規矩。人們看起來更放鬆，並且更願意分享自己的生活。但事實確不是如此。＂我們韓國人是這樣，我們韓國人是那樣..＂有太多的＂我想、我喜歡...等等＂他們和我討論歷史、政治、貨幣以及最嚇人的事情...在台灣沒有蘋果電腦的維修服務來支援我的蘋果三號電腦，我必需該跳槽到搭載微軟的PC。＂微＂啥？我問道。

我們等著看誰會埋單。但這邊不像西元1986年的韓國，沒人喝醉。我想我喜歡這地方。當我們接近櫃台時，李兄就以不標準的英文唸著我姓，＂巴克思先生＂，＂你是我們的貴賓＂嗯，又是另一個沒有V音的國度。我心裡想著。
我開心地和我的新朋友一起快樂地喝得濫醉才回家，在這段我人生中的＂假期＂。
兩天後，我搬近江兄和李兄位於14樓的公寓，住在一起。

No B.S.

Pohang, Korea, 1986

“So, have you decided where you will go?” asked Mr. No.

I was leaving the Pohang Iron and Steel Company, Korea and my best friend in Korea who happened to be a Chinese. In the language training center where I was working, there were 70 instructors, from 5 countries, mostly Korean, teaching 10 languages. The one I got along best with was the one and only Chinese.

No Byung Su, was his Korean name, Lu Bing Xiou, in Chinese. The company name tags took the western form, family name and then initials. So, I made sure that his English name became “No B.S.“

I thought, here is a man you can trust. Let's see if he can live up to it.
I invited him to share my 3 bedroom flat in exchange for language lessons.
“I can't see how you eat fish and rice for breakfast.”
“Look at you,“ as he gazed across at my breakfast cereal,” You're eating milk and cookies. Crazy, man.”
I take a fresh look at my nutritional habits, “No B.S.”, I replied.

Immigrants from Taiwan and China, his family ran a successful Chinese restaurant in Seoul.


I have given a lot of thought about where to go next.
"You should go to Taiwan," he suggested.
"Hong Kong is too crowded, and Singapore too urban. Japan is to expensive. Philippines is too hot. I need someplace that is like Hawaii but cheaper, like China but more freedom. And, like Korea but not so closed society."
"You should go to Taiwan," he urged.
“There's a strong American presence. It's tropical. Is the society more friendly than Korea?”
“I will give you phone numbers for my classmates,”
he assured me.
“You really should go to Taiwan,“ he insisted.
“You keep saying that. Why do YOU think I should go to Taiwan?”
“Because the girls ride motorcycles....and wear miniskirts,” he laughed.
“No B.S!”

No B.S. ＂真的不蓋你＂

Pohang(浦項市), Korea, 1986 韓國，1986


＂你已經決定好下一個落腳之處了嗎？＂No先生問道。

那時我正打算離開浦項鋼鐵公司，離開韓國，離開我韓國朋友；而我朋友碰巧是位華人。在我工作的語言訓練中心，有著能教授十種語言，來自五個國家總共七十位老師，大多數的老師都是韓裔。

No Byung Su是他的韓國名字，中文名字叫Lu Bing Xiou。公司名牌上印的名字，採用的是西式編排形式，先寫出姓，再來是以名字的第一個字母的縮寫。因此我更加確定他的名字叫做"No B.S." （譯注：英文中＂不蓋你＂的縮寫）

我心裡想著，這是個可信賴的人。先來測試一下他是否名符其實。
我提出分享我的三房公寓，來交換他的語言課程。
＂我看不到你早餐如何吃魚和飯＂＂你看看你＂，他從桌子的另一端瞪著我的榖片早餐，＂你在喝牛奶吃餅乾，真瘋狂，老兄＂
我看著我習慣吃的早餐，＂真不是蓋的＂我回答。

他移民自台灣和中國大陸，他家在首爾有間生意興隆的餐廳。

對於下站要去哪裡，我思考了很久。
你應該去台灣。 他建議。
香港太過擁擠，而新加坡又太都市化了。 曰本生活又太貴，菲律賓又太熱，我需要個像夏威夷但便宜些許，又有點像中國人但有自由。 有點韓國風但又不那樣封閉。
你應該去台灣的。＂他催促著＂那裡很美國化，很熱帶。那邊的人會比韓國友善嗎？＂
＂我給你我同學的電話號碼＂，他向我保證。
＂你該去台灣的。＂他很堅持。
＂你一直叫我去，那你為何認為我該去台灣？No B.S.先生＂
＂因為那邊的女孩都騎機車....還穿迷你裙＂
＂不蓋你！＂